Secrets From the Past
by Mona
Summary: Carmen's constant companion, Martin Shapiro, finds a scrapbook highlighting the highpoints (and lowpoints) of Carmen's life. Now complete.
1. Humble Beginnings

"Secrets From the Past"   
  
Author's Note: This story was inspired by the Disney's Hercules episode "The Yearbook".  
  
Carmen Sandiego placed the last red rose in the Ming vase. "There. Thanks for helping me redecorate."   
  
"No problem," Martin Shapiro replied. "That's what friends are for." He picked up a leather-bound scrapbook and blew the dust of it. "What's this?"   
  
Carmen gasped and snatched the volume. "Core Rier!"   
  
Core ran in. "Yes?"   
  
Carmen shoved the scrapbook at him. "Take this back to Acme Headquarters."   
  
Core bowed and obeyed.   
  
Carmen brushed off her hands. "That said and done, why don't we watch a video. I rented Clue."   
  
Martin stopped her. "Not so fast, Miss Scarlet. What's in the book?"   
  
Carmen blushed pink. "Just some dumb stuff from my days at Acme."  
  
Martin chuckled. "This I have to see."  
  
"No!" Carmen squealed. "Let's just forget the whole thing." She turned and left.   
  
"What are you hiding, Former Detective Sandiego?" Martin said quietly to himself.   
  
Carmen reentered the room. "This video includes all three endings --" The room was empty. "Martin?" She gasped. "You didn't?!" The master thief ran out to the hangar. A plane was missing. "You did."   
  
[San Francisco]  
  
Martin landed the plane on the roof of Acme Headquarters and slipped in. The scrapbook sat on a table.  
  
"Looking for something?" called a holographic image.  
  
"The Chief? How did you--"   
  
"When Carmen's henchman dropped off this, I knew you wouldn't be far behind."   
  
Martin picked up the scrapbook and opened it. "Here it is. The Acme roster from Carmen's first year." He flipped through the photographs, then burst out laughing. "That's her at age fourteen?"   
  
"Hey!" cried the Chief. "Cut the girl some slack! They took that on her first day! You see, before I became head of Acme, Carmen was still a little green."   
  
[Flashback]  
  
Julia Hopkins, Director of Admissions, reread the application. "An IQ of 200. Impressive. You're hired."   
  
"Thank you," Carmen Sandiego replied.   
  
"Do be a dear and get me a cup of coffee from the machine."  
  
"Certainly." Carmen ran her finger along the gleaming silver coffeemaker and touched a red button.   
  
Julia shrieked. "Not that button!"   
  
Too late. Carmen pressed the button. The machine sputtered, then backfired, sending a shower of warm Java over the two.  
  
Carmen picked up a napkin and handed it to Julia. "Oops...sorry."   
  
[Present]  
  
The Chief shuddered. "Yeesh. She was a one-woman hurricane."   
  
Martin was howling with laughter. "Poor Carmen. She must have felt like the Queen of the Dorics!"   
  
"Nope," answered the Chief. "That honor went to her friend, Beatrice."   
  
[Flashback]  
  
Julia snapped a photograph and set the picture into a card, then handed the card to Carmen. "This is your ID card. It signifies you are a member of the prestigious Acme Detective Agency -- and is ten dollars to replace if lost or stolen."   
  
"It won't leave my sight," muttered Carmen.   
  
Julia ignored her and continued. "This is your Acme badge, your HQ map, cafeteria menu, and the key to your room. Now scram before this coffee permanently stains my blouse!"   
  
A few minutes later, Carmen came to the dorms. The label on the keyring read "6". She stopped at Room Six and turned the knob, finding it open.   
  
There was a piercing shriek! "No! Not that one!" A detective threw herself at the door, but it was useless. Several bats flew out. "This is Batty's room. He's got an obsession for the flying foxes."   
  
Carmen blushed. "I must have read the label upside down. I'm new here."   
  
"Obvious. I'm Beatrice Quack. Call me Bea."   
  
"Carmen Sandiego."   
  
"Carmen, as a newbie, you need someone that's plugged in. Someone that can take you to the epicenter of the Agency's top-notch crimebusting elite."   
  
"That'd be wonderful."   
  
"Yeah," Beatrice agreed. "But I'm not that gal."   
  
There was the sound of a bell.   
  
Beatrice shrugged. "The first day at a new job is scarier than giving Frankenstein a makeover. But take heart, my new friend. For it is lunchtime -- a restbit from sleuthing adversity!" They entered a set of double doors. "Welcome to the Acme Cafeteria. Bad food in large quantities. All you have to do now is not act like the new girl."   
  
Carmen nodded and picked up an orange from the fruit bowl. The bowl tipped over, burying her in fruit.   
  
"Glorious example." Beatrice pulled her coworker out of the pile. "That could get you labeled for life. Something like 'Carmen Miranda' or 'Tropical Garden Carmen' --"   
  
Carmen snarled. "I get the point."   
  
"I'm just saying. People can be cruel."   
  
Another detective snatched Beatrice's lunch tray. "Thanks, Bea."   
  
"Some more than others," finished Beatrice.   
  
Carmen was shocked. "He can't do that!"   
  
"Yes, he can."   
  
"Why should we let him get away with that?"   
  
"Because he's Daley Bred! He's the Inspector's nephew! If you're not nice to him, he'll go crying to his uncle and get you fired."   
  
"But that's not fair."   
  
"Whoever said life was fair?" Beatrice led Carmen to a table. "This is Troilus, my honeypie. Troilus, this is Carmen. It's her first day here, so make her feel welcome while I go back for firsts."   
  
Carmen extended her hand. "Nice to meet you, Troilus."   
  
Troilus shook hands. "Hmm...I see a very successful career here in store for you."   
  
"How would you know that?"   
  
"I see all that has been and all that will be."  
"Oh. Is Bea your girlfriend?"   
  
Troilus frowned. "No. She just thinks she is. I think it was getting bonked on the head with rocks while tracking jewel thief Merey LaRock on her first case that did it. Although," he added. "I once had a horrible vision that I'd kiss her someday. He shuddered. "As if that'll ever happen."   
  
Beatrice rejoined them.   
  
A cup landed on the table.   
  
"Oh, Bea!" called Daley from the next table. "Refill...now!"   
  
Carmen snatched the cup. "You can't do this."  
  
"Yes, I can," replied Beatrice. "Refills are free."   
  
Carmen stormed to Daley's table. "I think you threw this."   
  
"Thank you," Daley said, taking the cup. "You may rejoin the underclass now, Errand Girl." He tried to sip from the cup. "Hey! This is empty!"   
  
"Refills are free...help yourself!"   
  
The bell rang. Lunch was over.   
  
"I have a riddle for you guys," Daley announced at dinner that night. "I just can't figure it out. A man and his son go rock climbing and get caught in a rockslide. The man dies. The son survives, but is severely injured. The son is rushed to the hospital. The doctor says 'This is my son'! How can this be?"   
  
"Simple," Carmen said. "The doctor was the boy's mother, Archie Bunker!"   
  
Everyone laughed.   
  
[Present]   
  
"Daley was one obnoxious kid," the Chief commented. "He was not only a snob, but he was quite sexist."   
  
"So, whatever happened to him?" asked Martin.   
  
The Chief thought a moment. "Well, the months passed. Carmen rose steadily up the ranks, just as Troilus said she would. One day, she was assigned on a case -- with Daley. They argued and almost let their culprit get away. When they returned to Acme, they got into a physical fight, which Carmen won. Daley was humiliated, so he went to his room. The next morning, he was gone. No trace. He hasn't been seen or heard from since."   
  
"That is a twist," replied Martin.  
  
"Not even Troilus knew what happened to Daley Bred."  
  
"Did Troilus make any more wild predictions?"   
  
"Are you kidding? He made tons of them. Two years after Carmen initially joined Acme, he foresaw one of Carmen's greatest cases."   
  
[Flashback]   
  
Troilus' eyes went glassy. "I see a whirlpool...an irresistible force...a ship sinking...a descent to the dark side...and another prophesy."   
  
The Inspector came in. "Carmen, I've got a new case pending. Shall I put you on it?"   
  
"What is it?"   
  
"You're going to track Doctor Gunner Maelstrom, a marine archaeologist. Turns out he's more interested in sunken treasure than sunken artifacts."   
  
"A maelstrom is another name for a whirlpool," Troilus commented. "I foretold you so."   
  
Carmen ignored him. "Sounds interesting. I'll take it."   
  
To be continued.   
  



	2. Sandiego vs. Maelstrom

Author's Note: Part of this section is an adaptation of the  
case section of Retribution, Part One. It's my first time adapting  
someone else's work. It is by no means a complete script. Also, I changed some  
lines and fixed the historical inaccuracy about the Carpathia. (Special thanks  
to Carmine for pointing that one out.)   
  
  
The Chief continued. "Carmen went on a series of cases pursuing Maelstrom. She came very close, but each time he evaded her grasp. Once Maelstrom decided to play a little practical joke." He floated to the wall. "See these dark stains here on the walls?"   
  
Martin examined the paneling. "Yes. Looks like water damage."   
  
"Maelstrom did that. During the Acme Awards Night."   
  
[Flashback]   
  
Julia Hopkins stood at the podium. "And the Detective of the Year is...Carmen Sandiego!" She sighed and muttered under her breath, "And to think she spilled coffee all over my expensive blouse!"   
  
Troilus patted the life vest he wore over his tux. "I see the after-awards party is going to be a disaster."   
  
"So foretell us something we don't know!" whispered Beatrice.   
  
In the basement, a dark figure crossed to a complex network of water pipes. "This shouldn't be too hard to dismantle."   
  
After the ceremony, the party began.  
  
Maelstrom listened carefully to the noise above him and drew a wrench from his jacket pocket, then fitted it to the pipes.   
  
It worked. The pipes burst.   
  
"Carmen should thank me for this. She desperately needs to soak her head," Maelstrom commented. He slipped out of the basement.   
  
Within minutes, the water level had reached the first story.   
  
Troilus inflated the life vest.   
  
"So that wasn't just a fashion statement?" asked Beatrice.   
  
Carmen sighed. "I should have seen this coming! Why else would Troy wear a life vest to a party?"   
  
"I thought the subtle approach might work!"   
  
"Aww, cheer up, Carmen!" said Beatrice. "I always thought Acme needed a pool party!"  
  
[Present]  
  
"Once, Maelstrom crossed the paths of Bea and Troy," the Chief continued. "It was early August 1985."   
  
[Flashback]   
  
Troilus burst into Room Nine of the Acme dorms. "Carmen!"  
  
"Troy, you're white as marble. Is there something wrong?"  
  
Troy sighed. "You know what happens if I have a vision of the same event twice?  
  
"Yes. It means the event is guaranteed to happen."   
  
Troilus quivered. "I've had my most gruesome vision ever...twice. Words cannot describe the horror. I saw myself tonight. There was a crowd of people, all watching me. And I was...I was...I was kissing Beatrice!"   
  
"And?" asked Carmen.   
  
"Kissing Beatrice!"   
  
"So?"   
  
"That's it! That's the vision!"  
  
Carmen sighed. "What do you want me to do?"   
  
"Get Bea to swear she'd never get within an acre of me?"   
  
"Fine. I'll talk to her at breakfast."   
  
In a pub across town, Dr. Gunner Maelstrom was flipping through a catalog.   
  
"What are you reading?" asked his assistant, Bilge.   
  
Eagle Eye read the cover. "Glossary of the world's psychics and seers. What's that for?"   
  
Maelstrom licked his finger and turned the page. "I've got a big seagoing heist in the works and I'd like to contact a seer to tell me if I'll succeed." He flipped through the pages. "Hmm. Troilus Dardandell. Acme detective. Promising, with a great future in futures. Rating four crystal balls..."  
  
(Acme Cafeteria)   
Beatrice picked up her sandwich and examined the brown glop inside. "That's what they did with the Forty-Niners' spare footballs."  
  
Carmen took the two halves of her sandwich and stuck them beneath the lunch bench. "Bea, I was thinking of you and Troilus." She glanced over to Troilus, who was hiding behind a pillar.   
  
"Ah, yes. What about it?"   
  
"I think it's neat how your relationship is friendly. And you'd never push it to the next level."  
  
"What next level?"   
  
"You've never kissed him. And you wouldn't--"  
  
Beatrice interrupted her. "That's it! Our love will be sealed with a kiss! I will kiss him! Tonight! He'll love it!"   
  
Troilus slapped his forehead. "I foresee myself becoming physically ill." He clutched his stomach and ran to the men's restroom. "My first kiss will not be a lip-lock session with Beatrice." He climbed to the window, but someone pulled him down.   
"Hey!"   
  
"Hey yourself." The speaker was Maelstrom. "Have we met?"   
  
"I know your work." Troilus turned away.   
  
"And I know you're living in mortal fear of a kiss."   
  
"Yeah...so?"   
  
"I can prevent it from happening."   
  
Troilus arched an eyebrow. "Is there a catch?   
  
"All I ask in exchange is you work for me. Use your visions. And an occasional spy job."   
  
"You seriously think I'm going to turn my back on Acme just so I won't have to..." Troilus cringed. "Kiss Beatrice?"   
  
Maelstrom looked amused. "Who said anything about betraying Acme? I was thinking part-time. Say, between cases and the occasional vacations."  
  
"I get every other Saturday off."   
  
"Deal." Maelstrom extended his hand. "Go ahead. Make your choice. I'm a very busy man and I haven't got all day. It won't cost much -- just your incredible foresight!"   
  
"YOU SOLD YOURSELF TO DOCTOR GUNNER MAELSTROM?!" Carmen screamed. "What were you thinking?"   
  
"I was thinking of Beatrice's puckered lips. And how my friend Carmen wasn't doing anything to stop them!" retorted Troilus. He turned toward the exit. "I'm going home."   
  
Carmen sighed. "All I've done so far is make it worse. But I've got to cancel the deal to Maelstrom somehow. If the kiss happens, the deal's broken. But how do I make that happen?" She thought. "One of the beginning teams brought back some arrows that were stolen from Cupid's quiver last week. I could use them!" She got up.   
  
Troilus placed the last dish in the dishwasher. "I feel wonderful. I should have sold myself to Maelstrom years ago!"  
  
"Sold yourself to a crook?" laughed Troilus' father, Priam. "You kids these days!"   
  
"That's our little Troy," added Priam's wife, Hecuba. "Always making new friends."   
  
The phone rang. Troilus answered it. "Hello?"   
  
"Now it's time for the reciprocal --" came Maelstrom's voice.   
  
Troilus cut him off. "Uh huh. Not yet."   
  
"Come on! We've got a deal!"   
  
"You get me after you prevent the kiss. According to my vision, it happens tonight. Tomorrow, I'm yours."   
  
"But--" Maelstrom started to protest, but was met with a crash as Troilus slammed the phone down. The callbox exploded. The criminal mastermind had to duck to avoid the flying shards. "Those Acme detectives are an ornery breed."   
  
"So, boss, how are you going to prevent that kiss?" asked Bilge.   
  
"You can't cheat fate," added Eagle Eye.   
  
Maelstrom took a glass vial from his jacket pocket. "One whiff of the contents of this bottle will send anyone into a deep sleep. The heart rate will slow to about one beat per minute, the pulse rate will become faint, and the breathing will become shallow."   
  
"But the body can't live like that!" replied the assistance.   
  
"Precisely," answered Maelstrom. "My client's Apollo will die in a couple of days. The only way to reverse the effects is a kiss of true love."   
  
"Man...and I thought Sleeping Beauty was only a fairy tale!" muttered Bilge.   
  
The doorbell rang, which Hecuba answered.   
  
"Good evening. Is Troilus home?" It was Carmen.   
  
"Troilus," Hecuba called. "There's an armed young lady here to see you."  
  
Troilus glanced at the gold heart-tipped arrows Carmen held. "Oh, no, you don't!" He turned and ran toward the living room.   
  
Carmen stepped into the foyer, took aim, and fired. She missed and hit a vase. "This is for your own good. Now hold still!"   
  
Troilus picked up the vase and threw it. "You don't get it. I don't like Beatrice! I...I..." His eyes went glassy as Carmen finally struck him and held up a portrait of Beatrice. Hearts appeared in his eyes, then quickly disappeared. He turned away in revulsion. "Loathe her!"   
  
"It wore off already?" asked Carmen. "Sheesh...he's tough." She took a handful of arrows, fitted them to the string, and shot them simultaneously.   
  
Hearts appeared in Troilus' eyes once again. "Beatrice! My lovely creampuff! I'm yours!"   
  
"Good thing this isn't permanent," Carmen whispered to herself as she and the hoodwinked Troilus headed toward the public park.   
  
  
(A few minutes later)   
"This is it," Carmen thought.   
  
The two of them puckered up. But at the last second, Troilus stopped. His hair stood on end and he screamed. He ran away.   
  
"That's my man!" cried Beatrice. "Hold still!"   
  
Carmen slapped her forehead. "The arrows wore off." She plucked another one from the quiver.   
  
"Don't you know it's rude to point arrows in public?" asked Maelstrom.   
  
Carmen sighed. "Not you again."   
  
Troilus ran up to him. "You're supposed to take care of this! We had a deal!"   
  
Maelstrom pulled out the bottle and threw it in Beatrice's path. It shattered, and a puff of smoke rose. When the smoke cleared, the hapless detective was lying unconscious on the ground.   
  
"Beatrice!" cried Carmen.   
  
Troilus was horrified. "I didn't want to kiss her. But I didn't want her dead!"   
  
"You didn't specify," replied Maelstrom. "Besides, she's not really dead. At least, not yet."   
  
Carmen bent over the unconscious Beatrice and felt for a pulse. Faint, but there. "The eternal sleep thing is so last week."   
  
Maelstrom snorted.   
  
"Okay, shut up. Here's the scoop," Carmen continued. "She's not dead. She can be awakened. But only by a kiss from the one she loves."   
  
"You're kidding, right?" asked Troilus. He turned to Maelstrom. "She is kidding, right?"   
  
"Well...no," replied Maelstrom. "But you can't--"   
  
"Hey, you stay out of this!" snapped Carmen.   
  
Troilus sighed as a confused crowd started to gather. "Which one am I going to choose? To pucker up or let her snooze? Either way, I'm in a crunch. I'll lose my job or launch my lunch." He sighed again. "Just like the vision." He bent over and kissed Beatrice on the lips, then wiped his mouth.   
  
The awakened Beatrice didn't notice. "A real fairy tale ending."   
  
Grimm, thought Troilus.   
  
Maelstrom snarled and ran toward the park's equipment shed, climbing up the side ladder.   
  
Carmen climbed after him. "Oh, no, you don't!"   
  
"Wanna bet?" Maelstrom poured grease on the ladder's rung.   
  
Carmen slipped and crashed to the ground. "Blast! I had him and he got away!"   
  
Beatrice ran toward Troilus. "How about another smooch?"   
  
"No! That was the first and last!"   
  
"Come on!"   
  
"First and last!"   
  
"I was asleep the first time!"   
  
[Present]  
  
"If acting goofy were a crime," the Chief commented. "Beatrice Quack would be sentenced to life in Sing Sing. As for Maelstrom, Carmen's hard work paid off in late August."   
  
[Flashback]   
(University of Liverpool, England)  
  
Doctor Gunner Maelstrom quietly opened a file cabinet. Flipping through the contents carefully, removed a logbook. Slipping it in his coat, he kept alert for anything that might catch him off-guard.   
  
There was a clank of metal meeting metal. Carmen Sandiego had attached a grappling hook to the overhead chandelier and swung in, knocking over a henchman in the process.   
  
"You!"   
  
"Sorry, Maelstrom. Library's closed. And your card has expired."   
  
Thinking fast, the thief shoved a cart of library books.   
  
This was no obstacle for the detective, who easily vaulted over it. "I'm afraid our little cat and mouse game is finally over, Dr. Maelstrom."   
  
"Are you certain, Detective Sandiego?"   
  
A henchman attempted to attack Carmen from behind, but she swiftly knocked over a globe.   
  
Another henchman fired a harpoon gun, which hit the light switch. The lights flickered. Carmen shoved the copy machine over, used it to knock her assailant off his feet, and pushed the copy button.   
  
Maelstrom had used this opportunity to toss a bomb and parachute out the window. He floated towards a waiting truck. Detective Sandiego swung back down and borrowed a motorbike from a nearby motorist, then sped after him. She caught up with him in the riverfront.   
  
"You Acme detectives are a persistent breed," Maelstrom commented. He pushed a button. The truck cab transformed into a motorboat, which zoomed off and vanished.   
  
Carmen was left behind, fuming. "Blast! How does he design those awesome vehicles?"   
  
Later that night, Carmen sat before her computer, feverishly tapping at the keys.  
  
"Maelstrom got away again?" asked the Inspector.   
  
"It doesn't add up. Here's a brilliant marine archaeologist gone bad. A man obsessed with stealing ocean treasures, loot from sunken ships, and suddenly he steals a simple logbook."   
  
"What's so strange about that?"  
  
"Why steal navigation records from seventy-odd years ago? The ship it belonged to, the Carpathian, simply carried passengers before sinking in 1918." Carmen slammed her fist down. "The answer's got to be here somewhere!"   
  
The Inspector chuckled. "You and your computer. I tell ya--"   
  
"Inspector, if I was half as high-tech as Maelstrom, I'd have had him by now."   
  
"Well, the boys at Headquarters seemed to agree with you, Carmen. They slapped together a little something to even the odds. Introducing your new partner, Acme's very own Computer Holographic Imaging Educational Facilitator-- Affectionately known as Chief."  
  
Chief walked (or stumbled, rather) over. "Detective Sandiego! What an honor! Aaah! An open window!" The robot clumsily fell out. There was frantic cat meow followed by a metallic crash.   
  
Carmen shook her head. "What a partner."   
  
A few minutes later, Carmen almost had Chief back into working order. "And let me assure you, Detective Sandiego. I am state of the art, user friendly --Oh, did I mention I'm cable-ready? Oh, wait. There's more. I guarantee you could not find a partner that's more alert, more vigilant, more --" Chief stopped short and slumped forward.   
  
"Uh, Chief?"   
  
"Forgive me for disabling your little toy, Carmen." Maelstrom's face appeared on Chief's screen.   
  
"Ach. How did you intercept his secured frequency?"   
  
"Knowledge is power, Carmen."  
  
"You're an epidemic on society, Maelstrom. And I'm about to become the cure."   
  
"Oh, you're a fool if you believe the reason you hunt me is to see me stopped. We both live for the game. We're two sides of the same coin, you and I."  
  
Carmen gasped. "No! Never!"   
  
"Only I'm willing to admit the art of the theft is what compels me."   
  
"All that compels you is greed."   
  
"That lofty moral superiority will someday crumble like the walls of Jericho. Then you will see what I see in you." Maelstrom stopped as Bilge whispered in his ear. "What?"   
  
Bilge whispered something unintelligible and handed his boss a piece of paper. He then left.   
  
Maelstrom turned his attention back to Carmen. "You are a thief at heart, Carmen, and right now it's my freedom you're trying to steal. Who knows what you'll crave next, hmm?"   
  
He cut off.  
  
Chief woke up as if nothing had happened. "More alert. Say, Carmen, you look a little green. Getting enough roughage?"   
  
"Chief! Maelstrom just broke in on your frequency. Do you have video playback?"  
  
Chief pushed a button on his console.   
  
"Turn up the volume!"   
  
Bilge's words were now clear: "We intercepted this message, Boss. Jason arrives in Sydney Harbor."   
  
"Nice job. Now we just need to figure out who Jason is."  
  
"Now, listen up, culture lovers! We've got the pioneer Jason Lee. We've got that heartthrob Jason and the Argonauts from Greek mythology."   
  
"Any Jasons with a more contemporary oceangoing theme, Chief?"   
  
"Word is there's a new underwater robot camera named Jason Junior, developed by oceanographers to explore the sea in places that would be way too deep for you humans to swim. (Bunch of weenies!) It can photograph the deepest oceans -- where it's so dark, some creatures, like viperfish, actually produce their own light."   
  
"Jason sounds like a perfect tool for Maelstrom's usual underwater heists."   
  
"And according to my chest, Jason Junior -- or JJ my man, as we fellow robots like to call him -- is due to arrive and be tested in Sydney Harbor tomorrow.   
  
Carmen brightened. "Well, Chief. Let's pack our toothbrushes and head for Australia -- the Land Down Under."   
  
"Augh! Augh!" screamed Chief, apparently acrophobic.   
  
[Sydney Harbor]   
  
"I'm afraid Captain Fredericks is a little tied up today," Maelstrom said slyly, signing the papers for Jason Junior.   
  
"Boss!" called Bilge. "Have you seen what they got down there in the tank? That thing gives me the creepy-crawlies!"   
  
"Merely a specimen of genus Architeuthis, Bilge, collected by our marine biologist friends below," replied Maelstrom calmly. "Now prepare to cast off."   
  
A car pulled up to the dock. The driver, Carmen, looked up to see the ship departing. She growled in frustration.   
  
"Well, I guess we missed the boat," Chief said cheerily. "We'll just have to call Harbor Patrol."   
  
Carmen ignored him. "Chief, take the wheel."   
  
"But Carmen, I'm not programmed for driving!"   
  
Carmen ignored him and parachuted down to the mast of Maelstrom's ship.   
  
Chief landed beside her.   
  
"I thought I told you to take the wheel!"  
  
Chief laughed nervously and held up the steering wheel. "I did."   
  
"Oh, boy." Carmen stood up to defend herself from more of the henchmen.   
  
Chief tried to join in, but was attracted to a hanging magnet.   
  
One of the henchmen kicked Carmen, sending her to the tank below.   
  
The specimen of genus Architeuthis, or giant squid, wrapped its tentacles around the sleuth.   
  
"Oh my gosh! Hang on, Carmen!" Chief unscrewed his arm and fell into the tank. "Give her up, you overgrown sushi!"  
  
The squid released Carmen, who floated back up to the surface.   
  
Chief used his control panel to electrocute the giant squid, who released a cloud of black ink.   
  
"Are we heroes yet?"   
  
"Fraid not, Chief."   
  
Carmen dried off her hair. "Chief, run your video memory of Maelstrom's getaway one more time."   
  
"Again?"   
  
"I've run it five times already! Can't we just rent Hello, Dolly?"  
  
Carmen watched the footage. "Those flags! Ships use flags like those to send messages to each other."  
  
"But according to my database on the International Signal Code, those flags don't mean anything!"   
  
"What if it's a private code? Infoscan colors."   
  
"That covers a lot of territory, Carmen."   
  
"I swear, it's almost as if Maelstrom's taunting me. Wait a minute. Maelstrom is a fantastic pool player. I nearly cornered him at a French billiards tournament."   
  
"Ah, billiards. The table-top game of royalty can be traced back to the fifteenth century, when King Louis XI was known to have purchased a billiard table."   
  
"See how each ball has a number painted on it? What if Maelstrom's color code was really a number code based on billiard ball colors? Purple is four, yellow is one, four, three, four, nine, five, six."   
  
"Wow, that just about clears up everything."   
  
"And we're looking for a destination."   
  
"So the numbers could mean Latitude 41, 43 minutes; Longitude 49, 56minutes. And since he was heading northwest--"   
  
"Maelstrom stole the Carpathia's log back in Liverpool. Did the Carpathiaever cross this part of the North Atlantic?"   
  
"Wasn't on the Carpathia's usual route. Oh, except for one night in 1912.A passenger liner sank that very spot, and the Carpathia went off course to rescue the survivors."   
  
"Oh my gosh, Chief! He's going to steal the sunken ship Titanic! He'll desecrate a memorial to those who lost their lives in that tragedy."  
  
"And there you have it, gentlemen," Maelstrom was explaining to his cronies. "Descending in nuclear submersibles, we will attach magnetic pontoons to the Titanic's hull. Then activate the self-inflating pontoons. The Titanic will rise, like Venus from the sea."   
  
Bilge was unimpressed. "All this just to get some old boat?"   
  
"Fool! The Titanic was the largest and finest ship of her day! Unsinkable, they called her. So certain were they that on her maiden voyage, they neglected to include enough lifeboats for all passengers. Then at twenty minutes to midnight on April 14th, 1912, she struck an iceberg and sank. There were 705survivors, but over 1500 drowned, making it the greatest seagoing disaster of all time. Countless explorers have tried to locate the wreckage of the doomed ship. All have failed. Until now. But using the log of the rescue ship Carpathia, I tracked the currents of that day and calculated they were strong enough to carry the sinking Titanic due east, far from where everyone else suspected. I am about to carry out the greatest seagoing theft of all time."  
  
(Later)   
  
"Follow me in the red submarine, Bilge," instructed Maelstrom as he boarded his own submarine.   
  
"Right, boss."   
  
Maelstrom promptly went under.   
  
A plane passed overhead.  
  
"It's Carmen Sandiego!" announced Bilge.   
  
"Chief, take the controls." Carmen was dressed in a wetsuit.   
  
"Again?! I told you I'm not programmed for--"   
  
Chief's words fell on deaf ears as Carmen leaped onto a jet ski. "Ah, the reception committee," she whispered as she ducked the henchmen.   
  
Her luck ran out. The jet ski ran out of gas, and Bilge's boat was speeding towards her. "Oh, boy." Thinking quickly, she leaped onto the jetski bars and knocked the henchmen out of the boat. "That's why you're the henchmen and not the boss."   
  
Chief crashed the plane as Carmen reached the red submarine and dove in.   
  
"Right on target!" Maelstrom announced. "The Titanic!" He released a few pontoons. "Bilge? Are you there? The Titanic broke in two as it sank. The other half could be anywhere! We'll need more pontoons."   
  
"That won't be necessary, Doctor," came Carmen's voice. "TheTitanic's not going anywhere!"   
  
"You will regret this, Carmen!" Maelstrom fired torpedoes, but missed.   
  
Unfortunately, Carmen's submarine became wedged in pieces of the broken ship. "Come on," she moaned.   
  
"Wedged in, my dear?" came Maelstrom's mocking tone. "Allow me to blast you out."   
  
"Maelstrom, you're a madman!" Carmen pressed a button. A pontoon landed on Maelstrom's submarine and inflated.   
  
"What's going on?"   
  
"Just hoisting you up on your own pontoon, Doctor,"   
  
Carmen's submarine rose.   
  
"Hey, detective!" cried Chief. "We bagged our limit!" Maelstrom and his assistants had been netted.   
  
[Present]  
  
"So Maelstrom went to Folsom State Prison, and I got to ditch the clumsy body," finished the Chief. "But Detective Sandiego's adventures didn't end there, nosiree Bob!"   
  
"Well, don't just float there!" Martin replied. "Get to them!"   
  
"NO!" screamed Carmen, running in. She moaned. "Martin, how could you?"   
  
"Aww. Can you blame me for wondering what you were like in your wonder years?"   
  
Carmen blushed. "No matter what the Chief says, Beatrice and Troilus aren't as nuts as they look. It's all I can say to thank them for the insights they gave me."   
  
The Chief still looked doubtful. "But a deal with Maelstrom over a fear of osculation? Isn't that a bit much? As I remember it, a few weeks passed uneventfully after the capture of Maelstrom. But Carmen gained a new partner."   
  
[Flashback]  
  
(Acme Cafeteria)   
  
Beatrice stuck a straw into her milk carton and sipped. "Blech. The milk's warm." She threw the carton behind her. It was met with a shriek. Beatrice turned. "Sorry, Prina."   
  
Prina Lott, once the girlfriend of Daley Bred and just as snotty, snarled and aimed a biscuit. It missed and conked another detective, who tossed back bacon strips.   
  
Within five minutes, a food fight was in full swing.   
  
Suddenly, the doors opened. An elderly Asian man came in. The food fight instantly ceased.   
  
Carmen was amazed. "Who is that?"   
  
Troilus didn't bother to look up from his scrambled eggs. "Oh, that's Suhara. I foresee you'll get to know him better."   
  
[Present]  
  
"And Troilus was right as usual," the Chief added. "Suhara and Carmen became partners and worked on several cases together. By the time she was seventeen, Carmen had solved more cases than any other Acme detective."   
  
Carmen got up. "Excuse me." She walked out of the room and approached a telephone, then dialed. "Zack? Ivy? I have a job for you."  
  
  
  
  



	3. Things are starting to get a little craz...

"What is it?" Ivy asked.  
  
"It's a long story," answered Carmen. "The Chief is telling Martin some of the most embarrassing stories from my detective years. I want you to visit his house and get as much embarrassing memorabilia from his past as possible."   
  
"Revenge is never a good thing..." began Zack.   
  
"If you two don't get the goods, I'll tell the Chief about the time you set up that crazy trap that backfired on you--"  
  
"Anything but that," begged Zack.   
  
"Okay, Carmen," Ivy resigned. "You win. We'll take the C-5 to Shapiro Mansion."   
  
Carmen hung up the phone.   
  
Martin was still flipping through the scrapbook. He came to a news article. "Jewel Thief Foiled by Acme Operatives in Egypt."   
  
"Ah," sighed the Chief. "Mysteries popped up back then when Acme least expected them..."  
  
[Flashback]  
  
Troilus rested back in the plane seat and dug out a book from his carpetbag. "I've been reading this fantastic story. It's called _Mara, Daughter of the Nile._"  
  
"I read that one--" Carmen began.  
  
Troilus shushed her. "No! I don't want to have the ending spoiled."   
  
"What's it about?" asked Beatrice.   
  
"It takes place in Ancient Egypt in the days when Queen Hatshepsut ruled. Mara is a slave and becomes involved in a plot to restore Thutmose III to the throne..."   
  
Suhara opened a brochure. "According to this, we'll be staying at the Golden Sands Hotel. The building is a replica of an Egyptian palace. It's a rectangular building, with pyramids serving as corners."   
  
Beatrice opened her own copy of the brochure. "The pyramids were built to replicate those at Giza, except for one: an authentic pyramid taken from a site in Egypt and reconstructed at the hotel."   
  
Carmen pointed to the upper right pyramid. "I bet it's that one. It looks different from the others."   
  
"We'll be landing in Qina, Egypt," announced the flight attendant. "Fasten your seat belts."   
  
[Qina, Egypt]  
  
"We're very close to the banks of the Nile River -- the longest river in the world at 4,160 miles," the tour guide announced on the bus. "The Nile Valley and Nile Delta make up a total of about 3 percent of Egypt's area. Almost all Egyptian farms lie in this densely populated region. Water from the Nile enables farmers in the valley and delta to raise various crops the year around. The chief winter crops, in order of area planted, include clover, wheat, and beans and other vegetables. The main summer crops are cotton, corn, rice, and millet. Cotton is Egypt's most important crop financially."  
  
The bus stopped and the passengers got off.   
  
Carmen was poring over her map in the foursome's suite. "I'm dying to find a way into that pyramid. It says here that Queen Hatshepsut visited the tomb during her rule as Pharaoh and her treasure is said to be hidden inside."   
  
Troilus didn't look up from his book. "I should have guessed. This is Spring Break! We're supposed to be doing the three R's: Rest, Relaxation, and Reading!"   
  
Beatrice snickered. "And Carmen never sleeps."   
  
"Come on, guys," begged Carmen. "Let's explore after lunch."   
  
Suhara looked over the map. "Since this hotel has two stories and a basement, and the pyramid entrances are usually hidden at the bottom, it would be logical that the entrance is in the basement."   
  
The grandfather clock chimed twelve downstairs.   
  
At the dinner table, the foursome became acquainted with the other three hotel guests.   
  
"Everything's in an uproar today," commented Leslie Donaldson. "Someone vandalized the hotel's museum room."   
  
"Museum room?" asked Troilus.  
  
"The hotel has a whole bunch of cool Egyptian exhibits on display in a room down the hall. Someone broke in this morning and tore the place apart," explained Leslie. "Our hotel owner, Yolanda Schwartz, closed it off until further notice."   
  
Professor Jenkins stirred his tea. "Is it any wonder? Nearly every object in that room was connected to a certain cult of Egypt -- the Netherworld cult. It was the so-called "death cult." I've seen similar objects in Cairo. Not on display, mind you. They were considered too disturbing because they say the cult of the Netherworld is still strong."   
  
The third guest, Dr. Elizabeth Wells, stayed silent and stared at her plate.   
  
After lunch, Carmen and her reluctant companions took the stairs down to the basement. They wandered down several corridors until they came to a dead end.   
  
Troilus' eyes went glassy. "Throw your weight against the panel. It's a hidden door."   
  
Carmen opened. The wall opened, revealing a spiral staircase. She proceeded up the stairs, Beatrice and Suhara behind her. Troilus walked a few steps behind.   
  
Near the top of the stairs, Beatrice noticed a square button built into the wall. "I wonder what this does."   
  
"Don't rush in," suggested Suhara.   
  
"It could be a booby trap," noted Carmen.   
  
"I doubt it. No one would put a booby trap in plain sight."   
  
Troilus screamed as the part of the stairs he was ascending collapsed and he fell into a pit. "Beatrice, you idiot! It's dark and dank down here! And the walls are too steep! I can't climb out!"  
  
Beatrice extended her hand. "I'll pull you out."   
  
"Uh, on second thought, I like it down here! It's moldy and gross, sure, but I like it!"   
  
Suhara burst out laughing and pulled Troilus out of the pit.   
  
Troilus sighed. "For someone advanced in age, you're pretty strong!"   
  
"Troy!" moaned Beatrice. "Quit making jokes about Suhara's age!"   
  
Carmen turned to the door at the top of the stairs and opened it. "Look at this room."   
  
Troilus joined her. "And there's a cartouche of Hatshepsut's name!"   
  
Suhara pointed to the floor. There were three small circular holes. "Something's missing here."   
  
There was a cough, which made everyone jump.   
  
"I have the feeling we're being watched," Beatrice said to no one in particular.   
  
Troilus grabbed Carmen's arm. "Let's get out of here!"   
  
An hour later, Carmen stood in front of her room door.   
  
There was a scream from the other end of the hall. "I've been robbed!"  
  
Carmen rushed to see what was the matter.   
  
Dr. Wells was inside her room, holding a half-full jewelry box.   
  
"Dr. Wells? What happened?"  
  
"I've been robbed!" Dr. Wells sniffled. "And who are you?"  
  
"I'm Carmen Sandiego. I'm an Acme operative."  
  
"All right, Scarlet--"   
  
"Carmen."  
  
"Carmen, I'll tell you what happened. As long as you promise not to tell anyone else. Wouldn't do to ruin the reputation of this hotel."   
  
"No one will hear a word."   
  
"Good!" Dr. Wells picked up a piece of paper and began to draw on it. "I'll start at the beginning. I am a scholar of Egyptian history. My specialty is Queen Hatshepsut. Do you know who she was?"   
  
"The female pharaoh of Egypt?"   
  
"Correct. When Thutmose II died in 1479 BCE, his son -- Thutmose III -- inherited the throne. However, Thutmose III was little more than a baby, so Hatshepsut was asked to rule. This wasn't the first time a queen had governed Egypt on behalf of a child. However, our heroine took a bold step and called herself pharaoh and Lord of Two Lands. She even wore the double crown of Upper and Lower Egypt and a false beard! At the time, the Egyptians were outraged. The records called her a weak ruler. Thutmose III attempted to destroy her memory. But throughout her reign, the skills of the craftsmen and architects flourished. Hatshepsut organized one of the greatest trading expeditions in Egyptian history. A large fleet of ships sailed to the land of Punt and returned with a vast fortune of copper, ivory, and incense trees." Dr. Wells sighed. "She was Elizabeth I's predecessor. You go, girl!"   
  
"What does this have to do with the robbery?"   
  
Dr. Wells held up the sheet of paper. She had sketched a round object. A stone was set in the middle. "I bought this medallion at an auction. It has hieroglyphics on the back spelling Hatshepsut's name. I went out for a walk and someone broke into my room -- and stole it!"   
  
_The medallion looks like it'll fit in one of the holes in the floor of Hatshepsut's chamber_, thought Carmen.   
  
"Carmella, I'm going to the kitchen to get some tea. I'll be back in a flash."   
  
As soon as the scholar left, Carmen gave the room a hasty glance. She noticed something gold glinting from beneath the couch cushions. She pulled it out. It was a gold medallion set with a black onyx. The detective stuffed it in her pocket.   
  
Dr. Wells reentered.   
  
"Did the medallion by any chance have a black stone?" asked Carmen.   
  
"Heavens, no! My medallion had a red stone!"   
  
Carmen got up. "I'll see what develops." She headed downstairs to the lobby.   
  
Leslie was sitting in an armchair. "You won't believe this! I saw Yolanda go through here! She went to the courtyard carrying this red ornament."   
  
"Intriguing," replied Carmen, entering the hotel gift shop. "Bea!"   
  
Beatrice was holding a leash attached to a floating dog collar. "Looky! I'm walking an invisible jackal! So, what can I do for you?"   
  
"Would you be so kind as to accompany me to the courtyard?"   
  
"Sure."   
  
The two made their way to the courtyard, a large square area surrounded by four walls.   
  
Beatrice stared at the bones scattered on the ground. "Oh no!"   
  
"What is this place?" Carmen glanced at the bench. Nestled beneath the bench was a medallion similar to the one she had, but set with a red stone. She picked it up and tried to open the door. It wouldn't budge. "We're locked out!"   
  
Beatrice pointed to the wall. "There's a ventilation shaft! We can crawl in!" She pried the grate off, and the two slipped in.   
  
"I wonder where this leads," mused Carmen. They found the end. "Look! It must be the museum room!" Carmen started to crawl out, but an alarm sounded, so she slid back in.   
  
Yolanda entered the room through the double doors and deactivated the alarm. As soon as she left, Carmen and Beatrice were free to explore.   
  
The museum room was a mess. The glass cases had been shattered, the contents strewn around the room. Someone had punched a large hole in the wall. Carmen peeked inside. Nestled in was a medallion identical to the others, set with a white stone.  
  
Beatrice took a paintbrush from a nearby dust-covered rolltop desk, caught some of the dust in its bristles, and spread it over the alarm keypad. Yolanda's fingerprints were revealed. Beatrice entered the code. "Let's blow this popsicle stand. I need my afternoon nap."   
  
Carmen went back to the lobby. She didn't notice the handbag someone had left in the doorway. "Ooof!" Picking herself up, Carmen stuck the contents back in the purse. An ID card caught her eye. It had Leslie's photo, but name was 'Merey La Rock'.   
  
_Where have I heard that name before? _thought Carmen, heading for the basement. She opened the secret panel, ascended the staircase, and came to the chamber. Kneeling down, she found that there were traces of red pigment in the first hole, white in the second, and black in the last. The medallions fit perfectly.   
  
There was a grinding noise. A pedestal rose from the floor. On top of it was a gold box, filled with semiprecious stones.   
  
"Oh, will you look at those beautiful rocks!" came a voice.   
  
"Leslie? How did you get in here?"  
  
"I followed you, of course!" Leslie drew a can of pepper spray and aimed.   
  
Carmen gasped. "My eyes!"   
  
"Don't worry, detective. My pepper spray won't last long, but by the time you get your eyes back, I've had made my grand getaway."   
  
Carmen coughed. "Where you the one who vandalized that beautiful museum?"   
  
"Ooh, you are smart. I guess I went overboard looking for the box in there. Oh, and don't forget locking you out. Just trying to keep you on your toes. Didn't want you going soft on your vacation."   
  
"Why did you plant Dr. Wells' medallion in the courtyard?"   
  
"To throw you off. As for the white and black medallions, I had no idea what to do with them, so I figured I'd put them in your hands and let you lead the way."   
  
"Why are you doing this?"   
  
"Are you kidding? I'm going to melt the box and make jewelry from it! The stones are just an added bonus! But enough chatter. Hasta la vista!" Leslie ran out the room.   
  
Thinking quick, Carmen pressed the square button.   
  
There was a shriek from below. The thief had fallen into the pit. "Ugh! Get me out! It stinks down here! Ick! It's all moldy! Darn you, Carmen Sandiego! You're the worst friend a gold thief can ever have!"   
  
The panel opened. Beatrice, Suhara, and Troilus came in.   
  
Beatrice glanced into the pit. "Well, if it isn't my nemesis Merey LaRock! How's the weather down there?"   
  
"Ugh. Bea Quack. Insult to injury."   
  
Beatrice laughed. "You just can't win."   
  
"Gloating does not become--" began Suhara.   
  
"Oh, come off it, Suhara! Carmen deserves a standing ovation! No one's beaten Merey LaRock since me!"   
  
[Present]   
(Outside Shapiro Mansion)  
  
"Okay, Zack," Ivy said as she and her brother approached Shapiro Mansion. "Martin Shapiro is Carmen's friend, but he's also a legendary paranoiac. So we've got to watch out for his home security system"   
  
Zack nodded. "Got it."   
  
The siblings entered the gate.   
  
Arrows flew through the air.   
  
Zack ducked. "He can't be that paranoid!"   
  
"Yes, he can!"   
  
Several nets flew through the air, making the detective duo duck and dodge to avoid them.   
  
Ivy pointed ahead. "That stream isn't water. It's super-sticky glue."   
  
"Glue?"   
  
"Well, a sticky-fingered burglar would find himself quite stuck." Ivy grabbed Zack and threw him across the glue river before using a stray branch to pole-vault across the width.   
  
"Ack!" cried Zack as he landed headfirst into a topiary bush.   
  
The siblings ran, avoiding heavy objects and other obstacles. They finally made it to the porch.   
  
"Whoo-hoo!" Zack high-fived Ivy, then rang the doorbell.   
  
A huge ball fell from the roof, bounced off the porch, rolled across the lawn, and rang a large gong.   
  
"Zack? Ivy?" came Mickey's voice. "Come in. It's open. I'm by the library."   
  
"What are we gonna do, sis?" hissed Zack. "We can't snoop in front of Martin's son!"   
  
"Distract him, little bro. Get him to play chess or watch some documentaries. I'll go look for the mementos."   
  
Mickey sighed. "There's nothing quite as satisfying as having friends come over. 'And then my heart with pleasure fills, and dances with the daffodils'."   
  
"Don't quote Shakespeare, Mick."   
  
"Don't you know Wordsworth when you hear it?"   
  
[Acme Headquarters]  
  
"Carmen had a long career at Acme, but all good things must come to an end someday," sighed the Chief.   
  
To be continued.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Winding Down Our Paths

The Chief thought a moment. "One of the last cases was the Tale of Two Towns. It took place in Tellsburg, North Carolina. Tellie is now one city, but it was two in Carmen's time. The North side was an innovative technological hotspot led by Miss Veronica Kingsmith. The South was proficient in farming and tourism and was headed by Veronica's twin brother, Lester. For over two years, North and South Tellsburg were sworn enemies. But why? What was it that kept these two great sides of the same metropolis apart?"   
  
"Oh, for heaven's sakes, Chief!" interjected Carmen. "That's no unsolved mystery! It was because Lester and Veronica hated each other!"   
  
"Yeah! Ever since they were waddling toddling tots, these quibbling siblings were always at odds. Hey, that rhymed! Well, sort of. I should become a poet. How about this? I miss the old days, I miss Carmen a lot, But I hate her thieving ways, and I'm in a total spot!"   
  
"Never mind the bad poetry. What about Tellsburg?" Martin asked.   
  
"Ah, yes. The city was one when Veronica and Lester ran for mayor. The Northern citizens wanted Veronica to run the town, but Lester was favored by the Southerners. The election ended in a brutal tie. No matter how many tiebreakers, they used, there was no final decision. They even tried the wishbone."   
  
[Flashback]   
  
"Come on," wheezed Veronica, snatching one end of the wishbone.   
  
Lester grabbed the other end. "Let's get this over with."   
  
The siblings pulled and pulled.   
  
"Crack, you old-fashioned goat," hissed Veronica.   
  
"Shut up, you wavy-futured mudslinger!" snapped back Lester.   
  
The wishbone broke evenly into two pieces.   
  
[Present]   
  
"The city split into North and South. Kinda like Germany, only it was more like use-technology or stick to the old ways rather than democracy-versus-communism. Then, enter Acme."   
  
[Flashback]  
  
Carmen sat down in Veronica's office. "So, what can you tell us."   
  
The mayor faced them. "Suhara, Carmen, as you may have noticed, South Tellsburg has dug a trench between our cities. I think my brother's up to something. Your job is to find out what and report back to me."   
  
"So, what do we do first?" asked Carmen as she and Suhara crossed the border to South Tellsburg.   
  
"Order is everything. I recommend longest to shortest--"   
  
"New faces!" came a cheerful voice. "I'm Lester Kingsmith, the mayor of South Tellsburg. Now, tell me...what brings you to my fair town? Cat got your tongue? Oh well. There's a lot to be said for silence. I can use two smart people like you for Project INT."   
  
"Project INT?"   
  
"Project Incinerate North Tellsburg!" Lester laughed. "This town's only large plane will fly over their side of our trench, and drop a huge bomb. The bomb will go off, making the entire skyline erupt in flames."   
  
Beatrice Quack ran in, followed by Troilus Dardandell.  
  
"Carmen!" cried Beatrice breathlessly. "Troilus just had a vision that your cover--"   
  
"Bea--"   
  
"Would be blown and that Lester would find you were a spy for his sister!"   
  
Lester's mouth dropped open. "A SPY FOR VERONICA?! GUARDS!"   
  
Several guards rushed in, and led the foursome to the jailhouse, locking them in the cell.   
  
Troilus folded his arms. "Way to go, ship-sinker!"   
  
Beatrice threw herself down. "Give me a goodbye kiss, Troy!"   
  
"No!"   
  
"Come on!"   
  
"You're never going to let me live the first one down, are you? "  
  
"But we're gonna die!"   
  
"Relax. We'll live." Troilus sat down.  
  
"You really think so?"   
  
"They don't call me the Truthful Oracle for nothing!" Troilus' gaze went glassy. "Until that plane crash thirty years from now."   
  
"See? You do care about me!"   
  
"Frankly, Bea, I have more affection for my magnifying glass." Troilus stood up and approached the barred door of the cell. The keys were hanging on the opposite wall. "I wonder if..." He stared intensely at the keyring.   
  
Carmen arched an eyebrow. "You don't really think you have telekinetic powers, do you?"   
  
Troilus shrugged. "I don't know, but I'm willing to try." He stared intensely at the key ring. He suddenly clutched his forehead as the keys flew off the hook and flew into the cell. "Ouch! My head feels like a nail's been hammered into it! Yow! Somebody get me an aspirin! I should have guessed this would hurt. I'm a seer, not a mover!"   
  
Carmen sighed as she unlocked the cell door. "I escaped with Troy's headache? Sheesh, traps and prisons aren't the way they used to be."   
  
Suhara glanced out the window. "It appears Lester and his cronies are carrying the bomb onto that airplane."   
  
Carmen grabbed Beatrice's wrist. "Suhara, you call Veronica and tell her what's going on. Beatrice and I are going to disarm that bomb. Troy, distract Lester."   
  
Troilus was holding an ice pack to his head. "What?! I just got a telekinetic headache!"   
  
"Now!"   
  
"Okay," Troilus stuffed the ice pack into his jacket pocket and strode over to Lester. "Want to have your fortune told?"   
  
Beatrice looked displeased. "Disarm the bomb? Look at it! It's six feet long! Hey--" she cried as her determined co-worker pulled her towards the bomb.   
  
Lester looked down at Troilus. "Future? Wow. I always did have a knack for supernatural wonders and superstitions. My sister Veronica called me an idiot and said that science and technology are the waves of our future, not fate. Bring it on."   
  
Beatrice studied the bomb. "For such a large explosive, there are only seven wires. Each one is a different color."   
  
Carmen opened a Swiss Army knife. "And I bet if they were cut in a certain order, the bomb would be useless. Let's see...seven wires. What does seven symbolize? Perfection? Luck? Hmm..."   
  
"Seven colors of the rainbow?" suggested Beatrice.   
  
Suhara's words echoed in Carmen's mind. _Order is everything. I recommend longest to shortest. _"That must be the order. The wavelengths of the colors...from longest to shortest." She sliced the wire of a red hue, then an orange one. Next came a yellow.  
  
"I hope you've done this before," commented Beatrice. "We might not get a second chance."   
  
Carmen cut a green wire, then a blue. Last came indigo and violet.   
  
It worked. The explosive fell to pieces.   
  
"Whew," sighed both.   
  
Veronica rushed in. Suhara followed at her heels, trying to calm her down, but to no avail. "So, brother? Trying to bomb my turf?! How dare you!"   
  
"Why? It would be an improvement! A pile of ashes beats those fancy skyscrapers any day!"   
  
Veronica stomped her foot. "I ought to smite you--"  
  
Suhara finally succeeded in getting a word in. "No. You two must settle this matter peacefully. It's the only way."   
  
Troilus' gaze went glassy. "If you don't reunite now, all of Tellsburg is going to be doomed."   
  
Lester jumped into Veronica's arms. "Help!"   
  
Veronica set him down. "You big baby!" She sighed. "Maybe I was a bit too harsh about abolishing the old rules."   
  
"Maybe," Lester agreed. "And some of your new ideas were pretty innovative. I think I was a bit too hasty in my judgments."   
  
"Les? How about being co-mayors?"   
  
"Why not? Mom and Dad will be happy that we've finally ended our sibling rivalry."   
  
"They always liked me better."   
  
"Oh, who do you think you are?"   
  
"The favored one?"   
  
"Oh yeah?"   
  
"Yeah!"   
  
"Veronica, I think we need family therapy."   
  
"I guess. I hear Dr. Shrink Wrap does wonders with sibling rivalry..."  
  
Suhara rested his hand on Carmen's shoulder. "Okay, that worked out well."   
  
Troilus shrugged. "At least they aren't planning to blow up each other's side of the town."  
  
[Present]   
  
"So, Mick, how does it feel to have your father date the world's greatest thief?" Zack moved his pawn forward.   
  
Mickey moved a bishop diagonally halfway across the board. "Not bad. They go for walks and they come back to play chess."  
  
"No wonder," whispered Zack. "The king remains stationery while the queen has all the power."   
  
[Acme Headquarters]   
  
The Chief shook his head. "Now, North and South Tellsburg has been reunified. Now, where was I. Oh, yes...things were starting to change around the Acme circuit."   
  
[Flashback]  
  
"I've been thinking of leaving Acme," Beatrice announced at lunch.   
  
"Leave Acme? Why?" asked Carmen.   
  
"Troilus and I have hit a wall." Beatrice stared at her plate of spaghetti.   
  
"This isn't about Troy, is it?"   
  
"How'd you guess?"   
  
"You're the lousiest liar in the world. When you tell the truth, you stare straight ahead. When you lie, you look down."   
  
"Curse your remarkable observance skills. Okay, I'll tell you. But you have to promise not to laugh."   
  
"Deal."   
  
Beatrice sighed. "When I was ten years old, my parents were murdered. I eventually captured the murderers when I entered the Advanced level, but I'm getting a little ahead of myself. When my parents died, I was sent to live with my aunt. Aunt Edith was a former senator. She was a good politician, but a bad businesswoman. She lost almost all the family money in bad business deals. When I was twelve, I hooked up with Acme to bring more money into the family bank account. Shortly before you arrived here, I sent an application to the FBI. They turned me down. A while later, I sent another application."   
  
"Did they accept?"   
  
"Yes. They said my detective skills had improved greatly, and I could enter whenever I felt ready. And I feel ready."   
  
"Why did you apply in the first place?"   
  
"At first it was because the FBI pays a lot better than Acme. But now it feels like a calling. A challenge."   
  
"Interesting."   
  
"I feel more determined to enter the Federal Bureau Investigation than ever. And I think it was you who gave me the newfound energy."   
  
"Me?"   
  
"When I first met you, I knew you were different."   
  
Carmen blushed. "Not everyone opens Batty's room on the first day."   
  
Beatrice twirled her fork into her spaghetti and raised it to her mouth, then set it down. "It was more than that. It was almost as if you had inspired me to do better. If it hadn't been for you, I'd still be at the Intermediate level, having my lunch stolen by Daley Bred every day. I thank you for this. Listen, it's Aunt Edith's birthday tomorrow and I need to buy her a present. Care to go with me?"   
  
"Love to."   
  
"Thanks. I think I'll get her that jacket she's been eyeing at Coat Caddy."   
  
An hour later, Beatrice removed a long brown coat from the rack. "This is Aunt Edie's size." She tucked it under her arm. "Carmen! Look!"  
  
"What?"   
  
"That red trenchcoat behind you. Try it on. It'll look great with your hair." Beatrice picked up a red fedora from the hatrack as Carmen slipped on the coat. "And the matching headgear. There. You look perfect. Look in the mirror."   
  
"Bea?" came a voice.  
  
Beatrice turned. "Troy? What are you doing here?"   
  
"I came by the jewelry shop to get a new battery for my watch and saw you two walk in here." Troilus peered at Carmen's red apparel. "Beware, my friends. Red is such a volatile color."   
  
"Yes, very volatile indeed," whispered Carmen to her reflection.  
  
[Present]  
  
The Chief sighed. "I haven't figured out why Carmen hung out with Beatrice."   
  
"So, did she join the FBI?" asked Martin.   
  
"Yes. Soon after Carmen left Acme. And believe me, the Federal Bureau Investigation hasn't been the same since!"   
  
Martin's eyebrows shot up. "Chief, what have you gotten against Ms. Quack anyway?"  
  
"What have I got against her? Weeell, after Bea left Acme, Merey LaRock escaped from prison. Again. Beatrice temporarily worked with Acme. And she could not follow my orders! She said, 'Chief, if I fail this case, you can yell at me all you want, but not before then.' "   
  
"Yes, Bea was made of gristle," agreed Carmen. "I remember when we'd do crossword puzzles. A normal person uses a pencil and erases. But Beatrice always worked with an ink pen! She was so confident that she unscrewed the cap and just dove in."   
  
"Yeah," grumbled the Chief. "And some of it rubbed off on you! She was a bad influence!"   
  
"Funny," Martin commented. "I thought it was the other way around."   
  
For once, the Chief was speechless.   
  
[Shapiro Manor]   
  
Ivy stepped into the lounge. She glanced at a portrait of a younger Martin and Francesca in formal wear. "Wedding photo...that's a little too personal." The detective strolled to the bookcase. A set of eight blue books caught her eye. She tugged at one until it shook free and opened it. "One of Martin's high school yearbooks! The Blue Academy...a prestigious coed private school located near the center of San Francisco. Students were required to wear uniforms on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays and appropriate casual dress on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Let's see...Shapiro...Shapiro..." Ivy stopped, then shrieked with delight at the tiny portrait. "Carmen is going to _love_ this!"   
  
[Acme Headquarters]   
  
The Chief coughed. "We all knew Carmen was stirring back then, but we'd never guess she'd become a thief. Well, there was a warning in the form of Troilus. It was the night before Carmen left Acme forever..."  
  
[Flashback]  
  
Carmen handed a small vase to Beatrice. "Tomorrow night, drop this when Suhara's nearby."   
  
Beatrice looked puzzled. "Why?"   
  
"You'll find out." Carmen walked off to her room.  
  
"Yes, Mumsie," Troilus was saying on the pay phone. "I'll be home for dinner."   
  
"I wouldn't recommend bringing an appetite," came Hecuba's voice. "Hector's cooking dinner."   
  
"Blech," muttered Troilus. His eyes took on the infamous glassy look. "I see red."  
  
"Troy?"   
  
"Our most dangerous lesson is about to begin!"   
  
Hecuba's voice took on a concerned tone. "Are you okay?"   
  
"No!" The seer dropped the phone. "Our own bombs will explode in our faces."   
  
Another detective stared at Troilus. "You're crazy!"   
  
"Recherchez Madame dans le rouge!" The color drained from the psychic's face. "A straight arrow will become a solid crook!"   
  
"Someone call the mental hospital! Dardandell's gone mad!"   
  
"Don't you understand?! This is the eve of the night Acme changes for good!" 


	5. Sleuth to Sneak

[Present]  
(Acme Headquarters)   
  
"They say no one believes the most disastrous prophesies," continued the Chief. "And it was certainly true in this case."   
  
[Flashback]  
(Back lounge in Acme HQ)   
  
Troilus sat on the couch, arms folded. "I foretold you so."   
  
Suhara said nothing, only stared into the leaves floating in his tea.   
  
Beatrice stroked the urn Carmen had given her the night before. "This vase...fascinates me." The pot crashed to the floor with a loud crash as it shattered. "Heavens! It was so slippery! As if it had been oiled!"   
  
Prina Lott flounced in, her blonde curls bouncing. "I always knew that Carmen Sandiego was a bad egg! But did you listen to me? Nooo..."   
  
Troilus stood up. "I'm going home. I have to help my brother Paris with his homework."   
  
Prina continued. "She had a home and prestige here, and she throws it away!"   
  
"You may beg and plead and argue with your logic," snapped Beatrice. "You could mention all the things she'd lose that really have no value. I doubt you'll ever come to understand Carmen's meaning, but in the end you'll surely know--" her voice cracked.   
  
Suhara noticed a piece of white paper sticking out from underneath a broken pottery shard. He reached down and snatched it up.   
  
Prina strode over to him. "Honey, I feel sooo sorry for you."   
  
"Three dollar bill," muttered Beatrice under her breath.   
  
Suhara donned his hat. "I'm resigning from Acme."   
  
Prina folded her arms. "Why give Carmen the satisfaction?"   
  
"Prina! Can't you see the man is in pain?"   
  
"Well, I wouldn't blame him! He could have been my partner, but nooo, he had to choose Carmen. He gave the best years of his career, and he gets this slap in the face?" Prina waited until Suhara was gone, then cheered. "Yes! I'm rid of Carmen Sandiego at last!"   
  
Beatrice rolled her eyes. "There's always going to be someone better than you. It's practically a law. And none is above the law."   
  
"Unless you're me. There I was, racking up new track records of solved cases and then this yutz comes in and I'm tossed aside. Forgotten like a black and white TV that's been ditched for a fifty-inch cable-ready widescreen color entertainment system! But now she's gone and I hope she never comes back."   
  
"The past is not dead. It isn't even past," replied Beatrice, walking out of the lounge.   
  
[Present]  
  
"Wow," commented Martin. "And I thought I had a jealousy streak."   
  
"Yes, it is a bit of a tragedy that Prina was overshadowed by Carmen," added the Chief. "She's remembered as being a priss and a snob, and the only one at Acme who would go near Daley Bred."   
  
"So, what happened to her?"   
  
"She eventually left Acme to found her own detective agency. You've probably seen ads for Apex Private Eyes."   
  
"And Troilus?"   
  
"Soon after Carmen went bad, Troilus was blinded in an accident. His career at Acme was ruined, but the loss of literal sight seemed to make his psychic foresight stronger, so Troilus hooked up with the Psychic Friends Network."   
  
[Shapiro Mansion]   
  
Ivy flipped through the yearbooks, laughing. "I should do favors for Carmen more often."   
  
"Oh, is that so?" A figure dressed in an old-fashioned white dress appeared. "You should see my pictures. Look under 'Anderson'."   
  
Ivy flipped to the front and stopped at a photograph of a thin girl of fair skin and auburn hair. "Francesca? That's you?"   
  
"Yes, I've seen better days." Francesca sighed. "Martin was my high school sweetheart. I was the class president and he was the only one in our school who understood advanced mathematics. We were a perfect pair. At least, I thought so. The captain of the football team, Endymion Jones, didn't see it that way."  
  
[Flashback]  
(Blue Academy)   
  
Martin took his chalk and guided it across the blackboard. "A woman goes shopping in Seattle. She looks up to see a Boeing 747 hovering over Sea-Tac International Airport at an angle of depression of 50 degrees. If she's 500 meters away from the airport, approximately how high is the plane off the ground?"   
  
"Zzzzz..." snored a large student in the front row.   
  
"Great Euclid and Pythagoras," muttered Mr. Peterson, the math teacher. "Mr. Jones, wake up!"   
  
Endymion's eyes snapped open. "Quick, Watson! Give him the antidote before it's too late!"   
  
Martin tapped his foot. "Mr. Jones, why don't you answer the question?" He drew a right triangle on the board. "Will you use the tangent, sine, or cosine ratio to solve this problem?"   
  
"Uh...why are you speaking Greek?"   
  
Martin sighed. "If you don't understand basic right-angle trigonometry, you will not be able to pass Calculus. And if you fail a class, you'll be booted off the football team, won't you?"   
  
Endymion yawned. "I'm so good, they'll change the rules even if I fail the course, pipsqueak."   
  
Francesca Anderson, in the seat next to Endymion, slapped him. "You leave him alone! Ten years from now, he'll be happy and successful and you'll be homeless and wandering the streets, penniless and babbling."   
  
"And if Shapiro continues teaching my class, I'm gonna have to go back to college," sighed Mr. Peterson.   
  
[Present]  
(Acme Headquarters)   
  
Core Rier came in. "Boss! I found this trunk and I figured you wanted it stored here!" He dropped the trunk.  
  
Carmen screamed. "No!"   
  
Too late. The trunk's contents spilled out.   
  
Martin picked up a poster. "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?" He frowned at the picture: Carmen having her hand kissed by one of her henchmen. "So this is the real reason you didn't want me to see this stuff?!"   
  
"His name was Vic the Slick," informed Carmen. "Don't waste your jealousy streak on him."   
  
Martin poked through the trunk. "What is this?"   
  
The Chief studied the contents. "Newspaper articles...wanted posters...souvenirs from thieving exploits...yup! Artifacts of Carmen's decade-spanning crime life."   
  
Carmen stuck out her tongue.   
  
Martin held up a rubber mask. "So, are you going to come clean or do I have to squeeze Marcus Aurelius?"  
  
Carmen sighed. "When I quit Acme, I founded the Villains' International League of Evil. I soon formed a team of criminals from around the world with various skills and capabilities."   
  
"Uh huh. Some geniuses if one gets caught every ten minutes."   
  
"I said 'various capabilities'. That doesn't mean they're perfect. The smartest cookie in my jar is without a doubt Sara Bellum. How I met her was a funny story, really..."   
  
[Flashback]  
(Lab C5 at Forward Technologies)   
  
Sara Bellum held up a test tube triumphantly. "And now, I, Sara Bellum, the greatest scientific mind of all time will find--"   
  
A lab assistant came in. "The thief struck again. He or she's been plundering several lab supply warehouses and stealing ideas from some of the greatest inventors and scholars in the world. It's corrupting the name of science!"   
  
"Stop ranting, you estupid normal-IQed..." Sara stuttered. "Uh...guy."   
  
"She's in one of her 'I am the greatest scientist in the world' moods. I hate it when she gets like that..." hissed the assistant.   
  
"I smell Nobel! My name will be synonymous with discovery and championship. I'll be all over Time, Newsweek, Scientific American, even Popular Mechanics! First Curie, next Einstein, then Bellum!" Sara laughed maniacally.   
  
"Professor, what do you get out of that laughter?"   
  
"What can I say? It's cleansing!"   
  
"You're mad, Bellum."   
  
"Mad?! I'm not mad...a little angry maybe...but not mad!"   
  
"I came here to pick up your research." The lab assistant put on a football helmet and walked toward the closet.   
  
"NO!"   
  
The lab assistant opened the closet and was immediately buried by an avalanche. He sorted through the mess. "Titanium transistors...genetic research...copper wires...silicon chips...ideas for crazy inventions from some of the most well-known inventors in the world? Sara, you're the thief! SECURITY!"   
  
The guards entered.   
  
Sara moaned. "You're probably going to ask me why I did it. I blame society...pressuring creative geniuses like me to lead the illusion of perfect lives! They drive me to insanity, make me want to overthrow those above me and..."   
  
The guards rolled their eyes.   
  
Sara sighed. "Okay, I admit it. I'm just a klepto! Happy now?"   
  
(A month later)   
  
A tall woman wrapped in a long red trenchcoat approached the deck. "Sara Bellum, I presume?"   
  
Sara whirled around. "What are you doing here?"   
  
"Don't you know who I am?"   
  
"Carmen Sandiego, the world's most wanted thief. But do you know who I am?"   
  
"Yes. Sara Bellum, one of the greatest scientific minds of the twentieth century. You were almost immortalized, but something happened. You got benched."   
  
"Look," Sara snapped. "What happened happened. I can't change the past."   
  
"But what about the future? Your future, Sara? Think. What if you could have it all over again? And this time, for keeps. And all it takes is a favor for me."   
  
"Name it!"   
  
"Running a worldwide criminal organization requires healthy and intelligent minds like yours. If I make you Head Inventor of VILE, you'll regain the fame you lost when you were caught stealing."   
  
"Where's my contract?"   
  
Carmen pulled out a scroll. Sara took out a pen and signed on the dotted line.   
  
[Present]  
  
"So that's why Sara went nuts!" the Chief cried. "She didn't read the fine print!"   
  
"What about Zack and Ivy?" asked Martin.   
  
Carmen sighed. "Ivy and I didn't like each other much when we first met."   
  
[Flashback]  
(Alexandria, Egypt)   
  
Carmen took the delicate device from the stand. "The first hydroscope, created by the first influential woman in mathematics -- Hypatia of Alexandria."   
  
"Drop that device, Carmen!" came a voice.   
  
"Well, well, if it isn't Acme's newest recruit." Carmen smiled. "I'll be obedient this time, but next time will be much more challenging." She dropped the hydroscope.   
  
A tall, thin redhaired detective jumped across the floor to catch the device before it hit the ground.   
  
Carmen ran up the fire escape ladder.   
  
Ivy set the measuring device on the stand and replaced the lock, and took the steps two at a time. "Sheesh. How can she run up a flight of stairs in those high heels at that speed?"   
  
"Persistent, aren't we?" Carmen climbed into a small helicopter.   
  
Ivy grabbed the door. "Hold it right there!"   
  
Carmen sighed. "Temper, temper, temper."   
  
Ivy grabbed the helicopter key.   
  
"Do you like ejection seats?" Carmen smiled softly and pushed a button on the control panel. Her seat popped up, sending the master thief through the air. Carmen pulled a string on her coat sleeve. A parachute opened and carried its passenger off into the distance. "Determined one," she whispered. "I'll have to watch her."   
  
(A week later)  
(San Francisco)   
  
"Al, hurry up!" Dara Riska complained.   
  
"I'm trying!" retorted Al Loy. "Did you know titanium's melting point is 1667...CELSIUS?!"   
  
"Stop it, you two," muttered Carmen.   
  
"Why don't _you _stop, Carmen?"   
  
Carmen turned around. "I missed you."   
  
"Missed me?" Ivy repeated. "What did you throw at me?"   
  
"I'll throw you a curve you'll never hit."   
  
To be continued   
  



	6. And back to the present

"Back then, Ivy and I were like fire and water." Carmen sat down. "We tried to make the other feel worse."   
  
[Flashback]  
(Acme Headquarters, dormitory division)   
  
"Come back here!" yelled Ivy, sprinting down the hall.   
  
Carmen stopped in front of Room Six. "I wonder if Batty's still around." She yanked open the door.   
  
Ivy screamed and ducked the swarm of ten thousand bats. "Carmen, that wasn't fair!"   
  
"Whoever said life was fair?"   
  
"Life got unfair?" asked Ivy. "Why wasn't I told?"   
  
"Your temper is like alcohol," replied Carmen. "It clouds your judgment. If I were you, I'd control it."   
  
"I'll show you how I control my temper!" Ivy took two handfuls of Carmen's black hair and yanked.   
  
"OUCH!" wailed Carmen.   
  
Ivy released her grip. "That'll teach you to taunt me!"   
  
Carmen ran down the hall and escaped in a helicopter.   
  
"ARGH!" fumed Ivy.   
  
Carmen landed her plane outside a small house on the outskirts of San Francisco. She grinned slyly and slipped in through the front door. Tiptoeing through the kitchen, she opened the living room door.   
  
Troilus sat on an armchair, reading a book in Braille. "Don't even think about it!"   
  
Carmen stuck out her tongue. "How late am I?"   
  
"The Dow Jones dropped twenty five points."   
  
"WHAT?"   
  
"Kidding. That won't happen for another six years."   
  
Carmen grumbled.   
  
"A certain red-haired detective got on your nerves again, I take it?"   
  
"Yeah, not to mention my hair."  
  
"Why am I reminded of Acme's production of _The Merchant of Venice_? You were cast as a bush while Prina Lott played Portia, and right when Prina was about to do her 'quality of mercy' speech, you leaped out and yanked her hair?"   
  
"You're never going to let me forget that, are you?" sneered Carmen. "But I've changed since then. I keep my temper in check, I worked on my physical skill, and I now know how to work coffee machines!"  
  
"Couldn't Ivy learn to do the same, minus the coffee machine?"   
  
"She's stubborn and hotheaded, but she reminds me of someone."   
  
Troilus snickered. "Yeah...you!"   
  
"And I thought you seeing the future was a curse. Remind me. How did you go blind?"   
  
"I was writing some reports for Acme," began Troilus. "I got a vision that there was going to be an accident at the Gleamin' Cleanin' products lab, so I rushed over to warn the chemists. I managed to get everyone out of the building, but a beaker of acid exploded in my face. I tried to get to a basin of water to rinse out my eyes before they were permanently damaged, but some ammonia spilled and I passed out."   
  
"I'm sorry."   
  
"Don't apologize. You're not to blame." Troilus put his book back on the shelf. "If you were to die suddenly, would Ivy mourn you?"   
  
"I don't know."   
  
"You'd be surprised."   
  
"She would?"   
  
"I won't tell you. You'll have to find that out for yourself?"   
  
"Please?"   
  
Troilus stepped back. "Never will the future unfold! Not even for the Queen of the Crime World!"   
  
"By the way," replied Carmen smugly. "Did you foresee me bringing Beatrice?"   
  
Beatrice came in. "Carmen!" She hugged her friend. "I'm sorry I haven't written! I've been so busy!"   
  
Carmen returned the hug. "So you're not mad?"   
  
"Mad? Because you left Acme? Never. I was counting the days until you'd find another line of work. I didn't expect you to become a thief, but hey, I never guess right."   
  
"Bea, Troy refuses to give me a prophesy."   
  
Beatrice laughed. "Don't mind him. He once made a wild prediction that I'd make a fool of myself in public." She climbed to the roof. "But I don't care! Because I'm hopelessly devoted to him!" The neighbors stared. "What are you looking at?"   
  
"Is any wonder Daley Bred targeted her?" asked Troilus.   
  
Carmen wrinkled her nose. "Daley even got under Suhara's skin...which was no easy task."   
  
(Flashback)   
  
Carmen sipped the green tea. "I'll find another way to deal with Daley."   
  
"Good," replied Suhara. "He's not worth your aggravation."   
  
Daley burst in. "What better way to celebrate the joy of daily life at Acme than with the joy of _me_?"   
  
"Then again, that kid's practically wearing a 'Smack Me' sign." Suhara took his tea and poured it down Daley's shirt collar.  
  
"YEOWCH!" The obnoxious young sleuth ran away.   
  
Carmen glared.   
  
"What?"   
  
(End flashback)   
  
Beatrice snickered. "And the next day, you pounded Dale right through the floor!"   
  
"It was beautiful!" added Troilus.   
  
"Interesting. I've never seen your sadistic streaks before."   
  
"Sadistic streak?" retorted Beatrice. "If only you had seen your expression when you pulled Prina's hair onstage."   
  
"What can I say? She hated me!" protested Carmen.   
  
"So observant, and yet so oblivious."   
  
"I beg your pardon?"   
  
Troilus sighed. "You tell her, Bea."   
  
Beatrice coughed. "I don't think anyone's told you this, but before you joined Acme, Prina was the top detective. She was jealous of you. And you were jealous of her."   
  
Carmen folded her arms. "You were the one who poured lavender hair dye in her hairspray can."   
  
[Present]  
  
"No wonder Acme never invites you back for Reunion Weekends," joked Martin.   
  
The Chief looked thoughtful. "I remember Zack was less, um, determined than his sister. Talked about skewed genetics! It's what you humans get for studying a science started by some eccentric monk who sat around playing with pea plants in his backyard."  
  
[Flashback]  
(Acme Headquarters)   
  
"Great, Ivy," snapped Ivy's younger brother. "Your little outburst played right into Miss Sandiego's plans."   
  
"You mean she wanted me to pull her hair?"   
  
"She wanted to find your weakness...and you gave it to her on a silver platter!"   
  
"Zack, what are you implying?"   
  
"That you can't let every little thing upset you. You've got to stay calm, cool, and composed...like me!"   
  
"Like when you were on that case with Armando in India and you fainted because you saw a King Cobra?"   
  
"Hey! I can't help being afraid of reptiles!"   
  
Ivy snickered. "Yeah, but can you help keeping your fear a secret from Carmen?"   
  
"Meaning?"   
  
"Don't you realize she knows that you're afraid of snakes, lizards, turtles, and crocodilians? And you say _I_ gave her my weakness on a silver platter."   
  
"Oh, shut up."   
  
(Present)  
(Shapiro Mansion)   
  
Zack moved his pawn diagonally to capture Mickey's bishop. "How's school?"   
  
"Pretty good. We had a substitute teacher. Strange fellow."   
  
[The day before]  
(The classroom)  
  
"Class, settle down. I'm Mr. Peterson, and I'll be your substitute teacher today. Let's start with math. You in the front row, write the numbers from one to ten, then write underneath them the numbers from eleven to twenty, and so on and so forth. Keep going until you get to 100."  
  
Mickey got up. "Yes, sir." He began to write the numbers. "You'll note that the numbers 1, 4, 9, 16, 25, 36, 49, 64, 81, and 100 are each a product of a number multiplied by itself. Mathematicians call these "perfect squares". Squaring simply means multiplying the number times itself. In algebra, geometry, and trigonometry, radicals are used in equations. A square root of say, 49, is equal to 7..."  
  
"Zzzzz..." snored the rest of the class.   
  
Mr. Peterson frowned at the role card. "Shapiro, Michal....AAUGH!" He ran out of the classroom.   
  
Mickey shrugged. "What did I say?"   
  
[Present Day]  
(Acme)   
  
"I first matched wits with Zack and Ivy as a pair when I stole the eyes off Van Gogh's self-portrait, the nose off Picasso's _Portrait de Jaime Sabartés_, and the Mona Lisa's smile."  
  
"Van Gogh, Picasso, and da Vinci were meant to be viewed separately, not together," Martin commented.   
  
"No doubt!" interjected the Chief.   
  
"In retrospect, putting the three of them together was a stupid plan, but I got a rise out of everyone."   
  
"If I remember correctly, you locked Zack and Ivy in the basement of the Louvre!" snapped the Chief.   
  
"And there was that awful orange scarf." Carmen shook her head. "Blech! That was not one of my good days!" She reached into the trunk. "Ivy gave me this."   
  
Martin laughed at the silly caricatures of Zack and Ivy. "That's adorable!"   
  
Carmen stuffed the drawing back into the box. "As embarrassing as that was, that was nothing compared to the time I stole genetic research, the Taj Mahal's roof, and a dinosaur skeleton."   
  
Martin thought a moment. "Let me guess...you tried to recreate a dinosaur."   
  
"It was a dumb idea."   
  
"I bet the animal control agency was bad."   
  
"And I wouldn't have liked to see Carmen get eaten!" added the Chief.   
  
"I did manage to prove I am the greatest thief of all time," retorted Carmen. "I have even bent history."   
  
The Chief rolled his eyes. "And you gave me a bloody British accent."   
  
"Time travel," smiled Carmen. "The wave of the future."  
  
Martin shrugged. "You have the waviest future I've ever seen."   
  
"Sara was sore for a week after getting smacked," said Carmen. "She and I had an argument afterward."   
  
[Flashback]  
  
Sara got on her knees. "Carmen, I know I signed a fifteen year contract, but may I please get a raise?"   
  
Carmen faced her. "Didn't I just give you a ten-percent raise?"   
  
"Yes," answered Sara meekly. "But that was before my hovercraft crashed in Fenway Park."   
  
"Sara, we agreed."   
  
"But Carmen...never mind." She stormed out. "I'll show her who's boss..."   
  
[Present]   
  
"Like I said. Sara should have read the fine print on that contract," noted the Chief.   
  
"What happened?" asked Martin.   
  
"Sara snapped and attempted to take over VILE," answered Carmen. "She stole the Spruce Goose, 9500 weather balloons, and a solar furnace disguised as me. She then captured Zack, Ivy, and me at the LePaige museum."   
  
[Flashback]  
  
"You bit the bait hook-line-and-sinker, detectives. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"   
  
"Whatever you're up to, Carmen, we'll figure it out and stop you!" Ivy yelled to the counterfeit Carmen.  
  
Carmen entered. "And I'll help you."  
  
Zack looked around, confused. "What?"   
  
"Two Carmens?"   
  
[Present]  
  
"And they thought having one of you was bad," joked Martin.   
  
Carmen rolled her eyes and popped a tape in the VCR. "This is footage from Sara's mad scene, courtesy of the museum surveillance cameras."   
  
[Ivy: We knew there was something weird about this case from the beginning. The real Carmen would never have trashed that airport to steal the Spruce Goose.  
Sara: I hate to break up this meeting of the Carmen Sandiego Admiration Society, but I'll be the one collecting all the kudos as soon as the sun comes up.  
(Sara takes off her disguise)  
Ivy: Sara Bellum?  
Zack: But you work for Carmen! You make all her high-tech gadgets.  
Sara: Well, I got a little tired of being Carmen's main brain all right, Zackary? Nice Jacket.  
(Sara pulls his shirt over his head)   
Zack: Hey!  
Sara: Maybe I'll get one!  
Zack: You get the feeling maybe Sara's finally gone one glazed doughnut short of a dozen?]  
  
"Sara's scheme failed. I escaped, of course. Ivy was angry as usual, but Zack pointed out they had a consolation prize."   
  
[Flashback]  
  
Ivy stomped her foot. "She got away! We had her! Ugh! We had her and we lost her!"  
  
"Forget her for now, Ivy! We've got a certified wacko to take care of."  
  
[Present]  
  
"Or the time your plane went down and everyone thought you were dead? The Chief sniffled. "That scared the bazeus out of me!"   
  
"Oh, yes," remembered Carmen. "My plane went down in Nepal and I was assumed dead. My lawyer, Lee Galease, told the VILE agents whoever could discipher three clues I left behind, that person would take over the organization."  
  
"And Zack and Ivy were the ones who solved them?" asked Martin.   
  
"Yes. How did you know?"   
  
"A certain blind prophet told me."   
  
By now the Chief was sobbing. "WAAAAAHH!!!!"   
  
"Chief, get a hold of yourself. You'll short-circuit! And I'll be here for years!"  
  
The Chief stopped crying. "Could I get that in writing?"   
  
"Trade you for another story," replied Martin.   
  
The Chief thought a moment. "There was the time Maelstrom escaped from prison, but everyone believed he died, including Carmen. So Carmen prepares this lavish funeral just as Zack and Ivy arrive. Maelstrom nearly killed them and they tracked him to Williamsburg--"   
  
"Chief? Could we skip this part?!" Carmen looked nervous.   
  
"Payback, right?"   
  
"I worked with Acme...temporarily." Carmen closed the trunk. "This is why I didn't want you to see any of this! Now you're going to think of me as nothing but a traitor. I want you to think of me as someone who had to throw down her cards rather than lose the game."   
  
Martin hugged her. "Oh, darling. I don't think any less of you." He cleared his throat and began to sing:   
"You were orphaned without a dime, a little unsure  
Had a case of the clumsies that needed a cure  
But the most precious gems have their roots in the rough  
Just like my lady, the woman I love.   
Made a few blunders, but haven't we all?   
Still you've always worked wonders with your back to the wall  
Though I'm duly impressed with this grandeur stuff,  
It's just a small part of the woman I love   
There've been hits, a few misses, one or two in-betweens  
A couple of kisses, and some scary dreams   
You've fought great adversaries, made some narrow escapes  
But I'm much more in awe of your character traits.   
Because you're gentle and kind, and you never give up.   
This is what makes you the woman I love.   
I thank Avalon for this gift,  
Who's stolen my heart   
My number one thief,  
The woman I love."   
  
Zack and Ivy came in.   
  
Ivy held up the yearbook. "Special delivery."   
  
"What's that?" asked Martin warily.   
  
Carmen smirked. "When I figured out what you were up to, I sent Zack and Ivy on a special mission to retrieve mementos from your past. We'll start with the high school yearbook."   
  
Martin rushed forward. "No! You wouldn't!"   
  
"Come on, Martie," teased Carmen, flipping through the yearbook pages. "There can't possibly be anything embarrassing in your past, can there? Well, looky here! Our little Martin was..." she gasped mockingly. "A chess player!"   
  
Martin glared at the sibling pair.   
  
"Don't hurt us!" cried Zack.   
  
"She made us do it!" Ivy said in defense.   
  
"We're out of here!" The siblings ran out.   
  
Carmen held up the yearbook. A photo showed a young version of Martin shoving Endymion Jones in the cake at the Blue Academy's Senior Prom. "Is that you? Pushing a 200-pound football player into a cake? For a guy with a 205 IQ, you did some silly things." She turned the page. "Ha! Look at your clothes!"   
  
Martin reached for the yearbook. "That was the style at the time!"   
  
"Checkered vests and breeches? For nerds, maybe."   
  
"Give me that!"   
  
"Not a chance! You were in the math and science club?"   
  
The End  



End file.
